I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Houston, we have a squirter
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize