it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize