maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize