He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And then he peed in my hair
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