That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize