Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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