i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't want my vagina anymore.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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