he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So vagazzling was a success
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
