Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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