I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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