Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  4 words: hood of his car

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  (402): 4 words: hood of his car http://tfl.nu/fuox
  Replies (34) Good night (4820) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A Penis?

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  (610): Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me. (1-610): A Penis? http://tfl.nu/aerv
  Replies (50) Good night (3454) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

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  (502): Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall. http://tfl.nu/wfv4
  Replies (6) Good night (860) Bad night (2881) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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  (214): they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids. http://tfl.nu/ux66
  Replies (18) Good night (964) Bad night (2571) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again

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  (423): come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again http://tfl.nu/f993
  Replies (15) Good night (3727) Bad night (1432) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.

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  (972): You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried. http://tfl.nu/sffp
  Replies (88) Good night (9602) Bad night (1573) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.

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  (513): I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle. http://tfl.nu/7tfd
  Replies (15) Good night (3929) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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  (+31): He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...? http://tfl.nu/se8t
  Replies (16) Good night (3855) Bad night (1354) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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  (530): the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been. http://tfl.nu/so6l
  Replies (8) Good night (772) Bad night (3006) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him

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  (256): There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him http://tfl.nu/3qir
  Replies (17) Good night (3586) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

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  (201): Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday. http://tfl.nu/gpxr
  Replies (5) Good night (2915) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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  (303): I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf. http://tfl.nu/kj2s
  Replies (20) Good night (6957) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....

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  (907): I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on.... http://tfl.nu/kmcf
  Replies (10) Good night (1216) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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  (619): According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night. http://tfl.nu/q1q9
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (289) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.

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  (601): I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome. http://tfl.nu/2jlt
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt

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