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4 words: hood of his car
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
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