Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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