I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dicks are not precious.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize