so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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