I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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