so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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