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I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
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