Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize