we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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