You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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