OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my vagina anymore.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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