i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize