Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
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I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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