Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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