Cold hands, warm shart.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize