we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's shark week go big or go home
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