Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Alive.
So much puke
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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