By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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