You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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