At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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