i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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