in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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