How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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