Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize