Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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