I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
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She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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