Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize