I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize