i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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