GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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