Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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