I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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