I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize