at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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