I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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