Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did) http://tfl.nu/wp6c
  Replies (3) Good night (1253) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  addddeeerrraaaallll.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): addddeeerrraaaallll. (641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/xlcd
  Replies (14) Good night (1370) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again.... http://tfl.nu/lj9p
  Replies (22) Good night (711) Bad night (5507)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america. http://tfl.nu/uk3q
  Replies (28) Good night (1266) Bad night (2486) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump http://tfl.nu/qbro
  Replies (23) Good night (567) Bad night (4352) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack
  Replies (30) Good night (5222) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications http://tfl.nu/d1qr
  Replies (21) Good night (7261) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Want any specific kind of beer?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Yeah. Alcohol flavor.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got it. Anything but Miller.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Want any specific kind of beer? (623): Yeah. Alcohol flavor. (701): Got it. Anything but Miller. http://tfl.nu/wg65
  Replies (39) Good night (7029) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja
  Replies (6) Good night (5002) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused. http://tfl.nu/76xl
  Replies (17) Good night (1928) Bad night (2536) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you http://tfl.nu/mvu5
  Replies (6) Good night (2847) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco http://tfl.nu/xqa3
  Replies (9) Good night (3092) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk http://tfl.nu/2uta
  Replies (9) Good night (2169) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy. http://tfl.nu/0mlh
  Replies (14) Good night (2211) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar. http://tfl.nu/9hcy
  Replies (7) Good night (1951) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt

Randomize