the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No subtext here. People are naked.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize