just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
