peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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