"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize